Your Scourge, The Casual Gamer.

insertcredit.com

What's that gaming companies? You want me to pay fifteen dollars for each DLC you put out after I paid sixty for the initial game? Please playa I've got bills to pay. Oh and EA/Bioware you want to make SWTOR free but make features super restrictive? Well I don't like you either so eat my shorts. Why am I not level 50 prestige on Black Ops 2? It's probably because I suck at first person shooters. Oh, you're mad that my rotation isn't cranking out the best DPS in this boss fight even though I'm always last to die in a wipe? Well I do have other things to do like spend time with my family so find another Death Knight.

     ^Bitter much? Nah, it's actually the fact that I have zero fudges to give about being a hardcore gamer. It is sublime being in the realm of casual gamer because I can actually do other stuff I deem more important first and then go play a video game if I feel like. Don't get me wrong, I love gaming, it's just not very high on my to-do list. I'm also very, very, picky about the games I do play and often times I pick the games I know I can play or have mechanics I am comfortable with. Why spend too much time trying to learn new mechanics while getting frustrated and dying 7 million times? An argument is that once a person gets the hang of it they can go back and replay. You can take that argument and throw it out the window because it's my sixty bucks and I want to enjoy it right away.

     Plus it's funny to watch leet gamers, and when I say funny I mean fricking hilarious, because often times they're prone to bursts of fury at other gamers, if it's online, or particularly hard levels i.e. "Oh yeah! Cuz that just happened!" It did sir, it did just happen and your anger is comical. Then there are those points in time where, if you are an online gamer, you have a bi-polar guild leader who will yell at everyone for not doing their jobs even though it's probably the leaders own fault, but hey they're the guild leader so why not? I'll tell you why not because casual gamers like myself are perfectly fine going off and farming for crafting, or getting achievements, or pvping. You think we want to spend 2-4 hours going through the Ice Crown Citadel? Nope, but we do it anyways because other members in the guild want the Kingslayer title and they are nice enough to ask(I haven't played since LK).  Anyways I couldn't tell you how much time I spent laughing while the raid leader was freaking out, I always made sure my mic was off though. Another thing I find funny is the looks that I get from some hardcore gamers when I tell them I'm not going get a certain game, or tell them I didn't like a certain game. They range of emotions shown on their faces go from confusion, disgust then to acceptance.
Dude: "Have you played Mass Effect 3 yet?"
Me: "Nope."
Dude: "Are you going to play it?"
Me: "Maybe, but probably not."
Dude: "You're missing a great game, like one of the best in a long time." shakes head.
Me: "That's nice, can I have Tomb Raider now please?"
 
      I'll admit most of these interactions happen at gamestop or wherever I buy a game. Sometimes with an employee or sometimes with another customer. I also admit that I too can get angry with a game, but when I find myself about to reach the limit I just set the controller down and come back later. I couldn't imagine getting so riled up that I throw my controller and bust it to smithereens. Here's the thing, if you find that you have steam coming out of your ears and you are about to smash your third controller please take a deep breath, shut the system off, walk away, find a phone book, look up anger management therapy and promptly make an appointment because your butt has issues. I guess the best way to avoid issues like that is the difficulty mode. I can't speak for all casual gamers, but I always pick the easiest mode there is. Sure it partly has to do with the fact that I suck at playing video games, but at least I can have the best chance to enjoy the game while still playing poorly. Yay me.

     Lastly, the best part of being a casual gamer is sticking it to the man and not getting sucked into DLC. I don't think I have ever heard anything possitive come out of DLC except for Skyrim, good for Bethesda, so why do people keep spending 15 bucks for more game to play? Maybe the studio wanted to include the content in the original package, maybe they have to cover costs, but probably not. They most likely just want our money. Screw that, I'd rather pay the original 60 dollars for the base game than pay an addtional 15 each for 3-4 DLCs that always turn out medocre.

     So if you are a person that brags about your prestige level in your bro-shooter game or you brag about you how many games you have and you beat them all on the most difficult mode, or you're a hardcore raider that spends 3 hours a night raiding to get the best gear, here's what I have to say to you.

But please keep your cell phone turned up. I may need to call you so you can beat a hard part for me.
Cheers.