Your Scourge, The Casual Gamer.

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What's that gaming companies? You want me to pay fifteen dollars for each DLC you put out after I paid sixty for the initial game? Please playa I've got bills to pay. Oh and EA/Bioware you want to make SWTOR free but make features super restrictive? Well I don't like you either so eat my shorts. Why am I not level 50 prestige on Black Ops 2? It's probably because I suck at first person shooters. Oh, you're mad that my rotation isn't cranking out the best DPS in this boss fight even though I'm always last to die in a wipe? Well I do have other things to do like spend time with my family so find another Death Knight.

     ^Bitter much? Nah, it's actually the fact that I have zero fudges to give about being a hardcore gamer. It is sublime being in the realm of casual gamer because I can actually do other stuff I deem more important first and then go play a video game if I feel like. Don't get me wrong, I love gaming, it's just not very high on my to-do list. I'm also very, very, picky about the games I do play and often times I pick the games I know I can play or have mechanics I am comfortable with. Why spend too much time trying to learn new mechanics while getting frustrated and dying 7 million times? An argument is that once a person gets the hang of it they can go back and replay. You can take that argument and throw it out the window because it's my sixty bucks and I want to enjoy it right away.

     Plus it's funny to watch leet gamers, and when I say funny I mean fricking hilarious, because often times they're prone to bursts of fury at other gamers, if it's online, or particularly hard levels i.e. "Oh yeah! Cuz that just happened!" It did sir, it did just happen and your anger is comical. Then there are those points in time where, if you are an online gamer, you have a bi-polar guild leader who will yell at everyone for not doing their jobs even though it's probably the leaders own fault, but hey they're the guild leader so why not? I'll tell you why not because casual gamers like myself are perfectly fine going off and farming for crafting, or getting achievements, or pvping. You think we want to spend 2-4 hours going through the Ice Crown Citadel? Nope, but we do it anyways because other members in the guild want the Kingslayer title and they are nice enough to ask(I haven't played since LK).  Anyways I couldn't tell you how much time I spent laughing while the raid leader was freaking out, I always made sure my mic was off though. Another thing I find funny is the looks that I get from some hardcore gamers when I tell them I'm not going get a certain game, or tell them I didn't like a certain game. They range of emotions shown on their faces go from confusion, disgust then to acceptance.
Dude: "Have you played Mass Effect 3 yet?"
Me: "Nope."
Dude: "Are you going to play it?"
Me: "Maybe, but probably not."
Dude: "You're missing a great game, like one of the best in a long time." shakes head.
Me: "That's nice, can I have Tomb Raider now please?"
 
      I'll admit most of these interactions happen at gamestop or wherever I buy a game. Sometimes with an employee or sometimes with another customer. I also admit that I too can get angry with a game, but when I find myself about to reach the limit I just set the controller down and come back later. I couldn't imagine getting so riled up that I throw my controller and bust it to smithereens. Here's the thing, if you find that you have steam coming out of your ears and you are about to smash your third controller please take a deep breath, shut the system off, walk away, find a phone book, look up anger management therapy and promptly make an appointment because your butt has issues. I guess the best way to avoid issues like that is the difficulty mode. I can't speak for all casual gamers, but I always pick the easiest mode there is. Sure it partly has to do with the fact that I suck at playing video games, but at least I can have the best chance to enjoy the game while still playing poorly. Yay me.

     Lastly, the best part of being a casual gamer is sticking it to the man and not getting sucked into DLC. I don't think I have ever heard anything possitive come out of DLC except for Skyrim, good for Bethesda, so why do people keep spending 15 bucks for more game to play? Maybe the studio wanted to include the content in the original package, maybe they have to cover costs, but probably not. They most likely just want our money. Screw that, I'd rather pay the original 60 dollars for the base game than pay an addtional 15 each for 3-4 DLCs that always turn out medocre.

     So if you are a person that brags about your prestige level in your bro-shooter game or you brag about you how many games you have and you beat them all on the most difficult mode, or you're a hardcore raider that spends 3 hours a night raiding to get the best gear, here's what I have to say to you.

But please keep your cell phone turned up. I may need to call you so you can beat a hard part for me.
Cheers.

    
 

My 5 Most Favorite Video Games

     I came up with this topic thinking it was going to be a cake walk, but as I started to think about the games I've played over the past 20 plus years it got a lot harder. There were two games that I already knew had to be on the list, but the rest I really had to think about and I had to think of good reasons why they needed to be on the list, not just because I thought they were cool, although to be honest that a big part of it. The games are ranked in no particular order except for the number one spot, let's get on with it shall we?

#5 . Tekken
Specifically Tekken 2 through Tekken Tag tournament. I got a hold of these games before I ever even heard of Sega's Virtua Fighter so deal with it.
Reasons why it's good: The story was great. A dystopian future controlled by the powerful Mishima Corporation that holds an anual Iron Fist fighting tournament. Power struggles between father and son for control of the company. The ending videos do a great job of fleshing out the story. The next reason why it's good is because it's not like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter, I hate those games. This was a way more realistic way of fighting and Tekken is also known for the diversity of different fighting styles, no cheaty super powers. Also, when Mortal Combat and Street Fighter were still using 2-D levels and fights, games like Tekken utilized 3-d or 360 degree stages and camera angles, you could use the whole stage to fight. The characters in these games had great personality as well, they felt human. There's also some straight up goofy characters in the games too, like that little dinosaur that farts on you, or Bear and Mokujin. Tekken Tag Tournament also had a bowling mode too, that was fun.

#4. Castlevania: Lord of Shadows.
This title is only a year or two old, it's mechanics aren't very original, but oh man is it epic. This title was sort of a reboot of Castlevania because the past titles had a messy timeline that didn't make sense. This game fixed all that. It is also the introductory story for Dracula in Castlevania. The story is fan-effing-tastic, I can't even summarize it properly. Basically you're this medieval Holy Knight named Gabriel searching for 3 masks to stop the end of the word, these masks might also help you reunite with your dead wife too. You battle classic Transylvanian mosters, and some new ones throughout. The levels are beautifully designed works of art and challenging enough to get your money's worth out of it. It's also one of the longest games I've played in a while, which is almost unheard of these days. One final reason that it's epic, Patrick Stewart! He voices a major supporting character in the game, he's also the narrator. You can't get more epic narration than that!

#3. Wrath of the Lich King
This is actually an expansion to the MMO World of Warcraft for those of you who don't know. It's true that MMO's are the tradition video game, but I still categorize it as one because you're still in control of a virtual character.
Anyways, in Wrath, you're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty to confront the Lich King and his armies of the dead. You're taking the battle to him. This expansion had a Norse flare to the storyline and the 5/10/25 man instances/dungeons. They also came up with the random Dungeon Finder during this expansion, which was a GREAT way to get the gear you needed for the endgame content. I also dicovered the joy of endgame pvp using my Death Knight, ah old Grimwraith, I hardly knew ye. Anyways, It was my favorite expansion. I had the most fun with it, I pwned so many people and I was usually the one left standing after my entire guild wiped, gotta love melee dps! Then Blizzard had to ruin it all with Cataclysm. Oh it was a cataclysm alright, just not the good kind. Moving on!

#2. Tomb Raider

Yeah Tomb Raider 1-3 was pretty great, after that it was kind of downhill. There some pretty obvious reasons why people liked it, especially males. In fairness it had some great storylines and I loved the fact that Lara was basically a female Indiana Jones. The game mechanics Eidos introduced were pretty innovated too. The auto-aim and grappling were my favorites. Some of the weapons were funny as well. Overall, they're just some darn fun games.

     And last, but certainly not the least, we come to number one. Ladies and Gentlemen, this one is near and dear to my heart. It's the favorite old flame, that gentle lover, you know, the one that got away. You spend hours upon hours upon hours upon hours romancing it, getting to know all of it's little quirks, it's secrets. You forsake your friends just so you can spend every precious moment with it, what is friendship compared to this love after all. You think you have it all, when, like a Nicholas Sparks novel, tradgedy stirkes. Some cruel digusting twist of fate happens. YOUR GAME SHARK CORRUPTS YOUR MEMORY CARD AND RUINS, ABSOLUTELY RUINS, 80 HOURS WORTH OF PLAYING TIME LEAVING THE END JUST OUT OF REACH!!! The world is over! The devil is laughing at you! You log onto Napster, download your favorite theme music from the game and cry into your chocolate milk inbetween screaming "Why God!?! Why?!!!"
That, my friends, is the story of the number 1 game....


#1. Final Fantasy VII
Yeah that's right, this is it. Playstations first major Final Fantasy title I believe. The one with a heart of gold. I'm getting misty eyed right now just thinking of all the memories I have *Sniff sniff* People who have played this game know what I'm talking about. I don't think there is any reason to go into detail here... now if you'll excuse me. I have to go and listen to Aerith's theme and cry into my chocolate milk.

Her and Cloud will be together one day Damin it!
Friggin Sephiroth. One winged angel my rear end!

Also, how cool are limit -breakers right?

5 Things I Hate About Online Gaming

The release of the new Star Wars game "The Old Republic" has gamers in a blissful tizzy, well at least the ones I know personally anyway. It has restored my interest and optimism in the big MMOs where World of Warcraft had started to drag me down. Even though I love The Old Republic it has also brought back things I absolutely freaking hate about playing online and I narrowed them down to a list of five topics.

1. The Grind

      If you're a gamer, especially an online gamer, than you know what I am talking about.This is a necessary evil because well...you have to level and you have to earn it. A lot of companies do their absolute darnedest to make leveling interesting and exciting with the allure of new abilities and immersing you in the story, but sometimes it's just too long winded. The new star wars game especially is guilty of having long winded cut scenes...but I digress. The grind can come off sick and twisted too by creating an addiction to leveling. Gotta get to the next level, gotta get to the next level, gotta get to the next level. It's like having a gambling problem for crying out loud. Crafting also contributes to the grind. Some people I know just wait until they reach the max level to craft, but people like me who depend on the gear to help get leveled need to craft.

2. Trolling

     Ah yes, the trolls, probably the worst thing ever to come from the Internet, and sometimes the funniest. Most of the time it's just down right mean, some noob seeking honest help in general or trade chat (Barrens chat anyone?) gets lambasted with smart mouthed replies and comments from someone who has low self-esteem and taking it out on that player. Usually the noob falls into the trolls trap giving the troll more power to make fun of them. Oh! They are so brave with their keyboards! So defiant in front of their computer screens! So lonely in their mother's basements! Don't feed the Trolls kids. Luckily for us there is the ever useful ignore option and if you're my brother you just disable the whole general chat system entirely.

3. Group Questing

     Unless I'm in some sort of heroic instance or an endgame raid then I really can't stand questing within a group, it's absolutely frustrating. You have to wait for the people or find the people if they run off some where and you spend half the time in the game typing instead of questing. Sometimes they want to skip quests you don't want to skip, or run into a huge mob that you have no chance of beating, it's lame. Usually I try to be polite and make some excuse why I don't want to quest together, but I guess the cat is out of the bag now!

4. Travel

     In most MMOs for some lame reason they make your character start out traveling very slowly. In WoW if you need to taxi they charge you. Really? Wtf? They just can't have a character start out with faster movement or even a mount? I never saw the point of this. Sure if you want a special mount you have to get the achievement or pony up the dough, but for goodness sake at least make the running speed twice as fast in the beginning. What's it going to hurt? It is a virtual world remember, its fake economy isn't going to get hurt.

5. Guild Politics

     This one is a doosy and has effected most everyone that has ever been in a guild. Usually it happens because the guild leaders don't have the mental faculties to govern a guild or make the appropriate people officers to help divvy out the raiding time. It results in favoritism and then members who haven't gotten the chance to raid and get better gear start throwing a fit and it all goes downhill from there. Other problems with guilds is that the leaders can be unholy douchebags of people who take out there real world problems on people in-game. Also sometimes certain people just don't mix well with other people. You can have instances where something is said that was meant to be taken one way but is taken the wrong way. My advice is have thick skin and don't take things personally. If you are a casual player like myself then find a casual/social guild. If you are or want to be a hardcore gamer than find a hardcore guild, a big one too that has an actual guild application to fill out online.

There yah have it.